Hard to Be Happy

I know this is a blog about ‘happiness’ but today I’m just finding it so hard to feel happy. I live in the UK and have obviously been following the repercussions of Brexit with some interest. And by ‘following’ I mean feeling depressed, heart broken, angry, scared, ashamed, upset, cheated and defeated. I have never felt this way about an election before, and I doubt I will ever again.

It’s hard to be positive when something you believe in so much is taken away from you. Something that you can do nothing about. Something that not only affects you but your children,  parents,  family,  friends and colleagues: Everyone. Something which I feel has happened due to much misinformation and misunderstanding. It’s hard to come to terms with.

I have always felt that for the world to move forward we need to work together. I felt the Scottish independence referendum was wrong for the exact same reasons (I’m half Scottish), but my feelings towards Brexit are even more intense.

How can we move forward as a county, nation, continent or world if we refuse to work together? If we simply say “Things aren’t how we like it so we’re leaving – you deal with it”. It just seems childish and ultimately selfish.

Then to hear of the stories of European citizens, people, living in England being beaten within an inch of their lives. The lies our politicians have been permitted to spread which misled much of the public for personal gain (or ideology). The potential breaking apart of the UK. That a politician or perhaps more importantly a mother lost her life for her belief in helping others, being accused as she was brutally murdered that she wasn’t putting “Britain first”. How can British English people ever hold their heads up high again?

Today, I feel ashamed to be British (English). However I am proud to say that I voted ‘Remain’. That my husband voted ‘Remain’. That my daughter’s uncle, grandparents and great grandparent all voted ‘Remain’.

I grew up in East London, living in an an area that was mostly non-white, although I must hasten to add that most of my school friends were born in the UK. They gave me an appreciation of other cultures, other religions and world food. Its an upbringing that I don’t regret and I morn that my daughter may have fewer opportunities to experience this.

‘Leavers’ saying “Get over it / Deal with it” doesn’t really help. It just shows how little they understand how we feel. It feels like we’ve lost a close close family member or friend. You wouldn’t walk up to someone a few days after someone they deeply cared about died and say “Get over it” would you?

I’m now hanging on to the ridiculous hope that I’m living in a dream, that for whatever reason Article 50 won’t be enacted. But I know this is a dream. I know the world we live in has been changed forever. Whether it is for better or worse, the outcome is yet to be truly seen.

How are you feeling today?

Gaming Fun with Brexit

Tonight several friends that we hadn’t seen in a while came round for dinner and (enforced) games. They may not admit it, but I think they enjoyed most of the games we played.

Some of you may or may not be aware of a game called Dixit. Essentially, you have a hand of cards with interesting/beautiful/weird art and you need to give a clue that’s good enough for someone to guess which card is yours, but not too good that everyone gets it. Other people get to deflect from your card by putting in cards from their hand which they think match your clue and get bonus points if anyone votes for theirs. I found the result quite amusing!

 Can you guess which is the ‘correct’ card if the topic is the EU Referendum?



Pulling Together

I put up a post on Facebook today letting my friends know that my daughter would be dressing up as Super Girl on Tuesday in aid of charity. Tommy’s is a charity which supports parents who have had a miscarriage and also does scientific research into them. Given our struggle to get Amelie, we felt that this was a charity  that is high appropriate for us to support.

Within minutes of putting my post up online we had our first donation. Within an hour we had some more donations but more importantly I had several messages of support from friends who hadn’t realised what we had been through to get our daughter. It warmed my heart.

So thank-you to everyone who reached out to me. It really meant a lot🙂

What warmed your heart today?

Team Work

Yesterday and today I’ve been working on a big proposal at work. We misread the date  which meant we had 3 days less time than we thought! Oops!

Today was the deadline and we had 5 proposals to get out. Having only just finished another big proposal on Friday there wasn’t much time to pull this one together, but we did! We seamlessly fell into different roles, writing, editing, reviewing, updating and submitting, getting all of them submitted with 10 minutes to spare.

Today, I truly felt part of the team and it was a great feeling. Roll on tomorrow!

What team do you truly feel part of?


Today my daughter learnt the sign for ‘hug’. My husband has been signing to her throughout the day for a few weeks now and she’s been picking it up pretty well, learning about a sign a week. So far she’s learnt ‘more/again’, ‘nappy’ and now ‘hug’.

After getting in late from work today I had to see a demonstration. I asked her for a hug and instantly she signed. This has got to be the cutest sign ever! It just melted my heart and made me feel so proud🙂 Obviously she then got a hug!

My husband tells me that during the day she often sits in front of her toys and signs to them. I can’t wait to see this – perhaps this weekend🙂

Who did you hug today?


Father’s Day

Today was my husband’s first (proper) father’s day. I say proper as the lucky fellow got a card last year too even though I was still pregnant!

Whilst he was still in bed I got up and brought through one of his presents and got our daughter to give it to him. She took a little encouragement as the present looked interesting!

Here I need to give a bit of history. In the 2+ years we were trying for our daughter we would get each other a children’s book that was appropriate for that time in our life for each other for birthdays and Christmas. So of course he got a board book for fathers day. But not any old board book: I Love You Daddy.

My daughter immediately wanted him to read it and I could see how happy he was. She then wanted it again! It looked like it almost brought a tear to his eye🙂

How was your father’s day?


Little Birdy

Today was my first day of working from home. Given that I got back so late from Paris the previous night it was good to be able to take it easy today.

The sun was shining and I sat in the lounge with my daughter crawling around and playing with her toys whilst I worked on some documents.

A little later I had a telco and as I sat there I saw a starling washing itself in the neighbour’s bird bath. Its feathers were all puffed up and it sent water everywhere! I really enjoyed working that day and got loads done. I’m looking forward to doing it again this week🙂

What are you looking forward to?